Full of nerves.....but I will be strong

I haven't mentioned it here but I have a heart condition, congestive heart failure is what they call it. I collect fluid around my heart and the left ventricle doesn't function at the proper rate. I go to the cardiologist twice a year and have an annual echo cardiograph. The last two times I had an echo the function rate has decreased. This is baffling my doctors because nothing in my lifestyle has really changed.

So I'm kind of nervous about the echo scheduled for tomorrow. I have this theory in my head (it's probably wrong) that my running has been the thing that keeps my illness in check. Well for the last month I haven't been running and I feel off. Rationally I know it's all in my head but I can't help thinking -- No Run = Being Sick.

What a piece of work I am. I'm such an alarmist but at least I can come here to vent. I really can't talk to anyone IRL about how I feel because I have to be the strong one. Just wanted to get that off my chest, it helped.